A Long Overdue Update (Of Sorts)

I've not posted much since there isn't much to say. I'm still living in a hospital bed in Jen's living room -- 6 weeks down and a minimum (as the doc's keep reminding me) of at least 6 more weeks to go. Still, a halfway there point I suppose. Once I get the ok to start weight bearing on the leg, I'm still gonna be faced with that whole learning to walk again thing so who knows when my 'normal' will return.

My landlord sent me a 60 day notice to move, via registered mail, in early March because they want to move back in. I have to be outta the house by the bay no later than May 10th. I won't be walking yet by then -- I figure the earliest I'll be able to start weight bearing will be somewhere around May 15th or so -- so am going to have to rely on help from others to pack up my stuff. I can't even get up the stairs to show those helping what's mine and what isn't -- the place was rented furnished but I've accumulated a lotta stuff in the almost 4 years I was there. Have no idea where I'll live but know I should move outta Jen's living room before Mike's daughters' get here for their annual summer break visit with their dad -- they should be here by the end of May at the latest. I hear this clock ticking down the days in my head and have a hard time turning off that sound.

Too much to think about and too much up in the air -- it unsettles me because I don't know the answer to anything and thinking about it just gets me upset and reminds me of how little control I have over everything. I keep trying to remind myself that when faced with no control, I still have control over my reaction but I gotta admit its forking hard to keep being positive and not wallowing. My days all run together -- the sameness of each day as viewed from this bed is so monotonous.

On the plus side, Stephanie took me out today -- and it was NOT for a doctor appt. We went to Target to get a few things -- she wheeled me around the store in my wheelchair and I put the little store basket on my lap. By the time we got to the cash register it was heavy and full but totally worth it! Its been a long time since I had a outing and it really did lift my spirits.

Julianna's first birthday party is one week from today. Hard to believe its been almost a year since she was born -- grandbabies sure make the time fly faster than it did when my babies were babies. April 9th she is going to be an entire year old. Seems like just yesterday that I was there as she took her first breath and watching her looking at her new world and now she's taking steps. Time goes by so fast when it comes to her and yet so slow when it comes to this hospital bed.

Einstein was right -- time is relative.

Two Steps Forward

Two steps forward, one step back is a line in this video by Paula Abdul and is appropriate for where I'm at.



Kaiser sent a very nice young man to Jen's house to check on me today -- it was called a PT appt but really was a check to see how I am doing and what issues could cause problems with mobility around the house. He was very helpful and laughingly told me that he was NOT going to be telling me to do more. He said I could only use the walker as far as the hall bath and that I should be using the wheelchair more. He said as my pain levels and swelling reduce, I should spend more and more time sitting in the the wheelchair and not laying in the hospital bed.

He also told me that standing is exercise (!) and that I should stand when I felt up to it -- with the caveat of holding onto the walker and no weight bearing on my right leg, etc. Said I'll have a call next week setting up another visit - guess I get them weekly. He checked my blood pressure (great) and my toes and asked about my pain levels, etc.

Got a care package of yummy homemade cookies and banana bread from my friend Mary Mac today -- made me all teary knowing that I have friends like Mary Mac who care enough to send me goodies. Her timing was great - I was feeling a little low after today's appointment knowing that I have a very long and slow recovery ahead of me. I promise to share the goodies with Jen, Stephanie, and Mike. Poor Julianna doesn't know what she's missing :)

Still haven't heard from Joanie -- hope she calls soon.

Getting Better

Yesterday was a good day -- last night was a bad night but overall, I'm feeling stronger each day. I am finally able to lift the cast off the ground using my hip muscles (whew) and my appetite is returning.

Of course, all that would not be possible without Stephanie's nursing and Jen letting me stay here and fronting the cost of the medical equipment (*spitting* Kaiser *spitting*). I am so blessed to be with both my girls at the same time and getting to see Julianna every day and the more I am around Mike, I can see why Jen fell in love with him -- he is such a good man.



The Beatles -- Getting Better

Tomorrow's Nightmare

No, this is not a post about the song from Annie meeting those kids from Elm Street - I wish it was :)

I have to be at Kaiser Sunnyside Medical Center at 0630 tomorrow morning. My surgery is scheduled for 0830. The estimate is two to three hours so I doubt there will be any word until sometime after noon. I will be in recovery for a while before I am moved to my room.

Kaiser does not permit cell phones and all electronics have to be battery operated so I will be tube-less during my stay. I won't know until tomorrow when I chat with the doc pre-op how long I will be hospitalized. I am hoping for it to be just overnight for monitoring and that I am discharged Thursday morning. Fingers and toes crossed!

Stephanie knows how to sign in so that she can write a post here updating folks how I'm doing tomorrow. Again, I don't expect her to have any information to share until late afternoon at the earliest.

I want to thank everyone for sending me warm positive thoughts and prayers during this difficult time -- I owe you all such a debt of gratitude - words fail to express how much it has meant to me to have your support.

The positive to all this is that as of tomorrow, I will finally be on the road to recovery -- no longer on hold waiting - and will be able to start thinking about getting my life back to what it was 'before'. That and spending all this time with both my girls and watching my granddaughter grow by leaps and bounds daily. I am so thankful that I did not drop her when I fell.