Days of the Week

I did it again. Talking with my oldest girl, thinking it was Tuesday and it turns out to be Wednesday. It is not that I am losing my faculties - it is more like the first question and answer from a recent email - it's hard work keeping track of all those Saturdays:

Retired

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after falling asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Quest ion: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer : He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!