I've not posted much since there isn't much to say. I'm still living in a hospital bed in Jen's living room -- 6 weeks down and a minimum (as the doc's keep reminding me) of at least 6 more weeks to go. Still, a halfway there point I suppose. Once I get the ok to start weight bearing on the leg, I'm still gonna be faced with that whole learning to walk again thing so who knows when my 'normal' will return.
My landlord sent me a 60 day notice to move, via registered mail, in early March because they want to move back in. I have to be outta the house by the bay no later than May 10th. I won't be walking yet by then -- I figure the earliest I'll be able to start weight bearing will be somewhere around May 15th or so -- so am going to have to rely on help from others to pack up my stuff. I can't even get up the stairs to show those helping what's mine and what isn't -- the place was rented furnished but I've accumulated a lotta stuff in the almost 4 years I was there. Have no idea where I'll live but know I should move outta Jen's living room before Mike's daughters' get here for their annual summer break visit with their dad -- they should be here by the end of May at the latest. I hear this clock ticking down the days in my head and have a hard time turning off that sound.
Too much to think about and too much up in the air -- it unsettles me because I don't know the answer to anything and thinking about it just gets me upset and reminds me of how little control I have over everything. I keep trying to remind myself that when faced with no control, I still have control over my reaction but I gotta admit its forking hard to keep being positive and not wallowing. My days all run together -- the sameness of each day as viewed from this bed is so monotonous.
On the plus side, Stephanie took me out today -- and it was NOT for a doctor appt. We went to Target to get a few things -- she wheeled me around the store in my wheelchair and I put the little store basket on my lap. By the time we got to the cash register it was heavy and full but totally worth it! Its been a long time since I had a outing and it really did lift my spirits.
Julianna's first birthday party is one week from today. Hard to believe its been almost a year since she was born -- grandbabies sure make the time fly faster than it did when my babies were babies. April 9th she is going to be an entire year old. Seems like just yesterday that I was there as she took her first breath and watching her looking at her new world and now she's taking steps. Time goes by so fast when it comes to her and yet so slow when it comes to this hospital bed.
Einstein was right -- time is relative.
